Doors open, doors close and some are faulty automatics

And everything I am working on gets shot in the foot when your grandma tells you that if you quit your job you would make her life miserable until she dies...

Hmmm

Great? 

Now what?? 

At Peace

After many of conversations today- and tears it has occurred it seems I may just need to take the plunge. Scary Stuff!
Some days I think that God is holding me so incredibly close even whilst I am still trying to wriggle away- it is awesome. The thing is about life I need and want 3 things on a day to day basis:
I want to be passionate about what I do
I need to enjoy what I do
I like to succeed in EVERYTHING I do.

At the end of the day I LOVE being outdoors I love just giving all I can and I think I need to just do what makes me smile and if I want to go back to retail then that is what I will do. I am a being of passion and integrity and I want to keep that. I want to be able to shout from the Roof Tops that I love my God and that Jesus came to save us...

Let's just say retail doesn't allow you to be that free....

Well another quick rant onto a random web page :) 

Doors open doors close

So I have definitely come to decide that the job I am doing at the moment is a stop gap in life. 

I want to work with kids day in day out- it would be truly awesome. 

I have spent my morning at kids camp enjoying myself and reminding myself why working with adults isn't for me. I am going to continue to work where I do with a view of really getting in with my open university degree. I am going to try and love life to the full and make sure that everything I do has God at the forefront. I was thinking about my options yesterday and felt God telling me to stop trying to trust my own ability and trust him. I need to stop leaning on my own understanding because when I stop doing everything by myself I firstly stop being lovely and secondly become someone that I don't like.

Life is One big balance...

So I have decided that I need to document everything I thing and feel somewhere before I explode or perhaps spontaneously combust! I was think I could write a Diary but then no-one could interact with that, so I am a little hopeful that someone somewhere may read this and decide to respond.

To put everything into perspective a little a bit about me: I am Young (ish), generally happy and on Life's big roller coaster...

In the past Month I have moved to a new house, in a new area, with no-one I know: it is a little scary but surprisingly empowering.

At the moment I have decided I need to really improve the balance of everything in life; this is currently the balance I would like to achieve.

Working hard, whilst Learning lots, Saving some money, doing what I want, doing what I need, doing what I dream all whilst being a disciple of Jesus. So not too much, the problem is under all of this is a lot more. I want to progress and succeed at work, I also want to complete an Open University degree in Natural Science, I would like to save some money (so I don't have to lodge forever!), I need to sleep every day, I need to see my friends, I want to enjoy what I do, I want to eat naughty food!, I want to never be bored, I want to explore the world, I want to learn to: climb, kayak, sail, surf, mountain bike, abseil and to teach myself to run properly. I dream of being able to travel the world and to laugh lots. Worryingly the last thing on my list but quite definitely the most important is strengthening my faith.

I want to be FREE in God; FREE in life and just to chill out with today because I 100% trust that tomorrow will worry about itself. I want to be Fearless. But do we all get what we want? Is there time and everything and resource to do everything I want to.

Tomorrow I am off to visit a kids camp that I usually do but can't this year as I have just moved jobs, I am very excited that for tomorrow morning I will get to spend a few hours of doing what I LOVE to do...

This has been a big ramble but is the only way to sum up the tiniest amount of my brain.

Off to bed to sleep now so that I am ready for tomorrow.